Turn Yourself Into A Dog

I officially declare illegal.
Not only I have a national identity, I have no papers to be legally in Costa Rica, where I live for 30 years.
I have all the paperwork that requires me migrated.
1. Birth Certificate: I was born in San Pedro Sula, Honduras on May 8, 1970. My parents are Christopher and Julie Gibson Ruhe U.S. natives.
2. Proof of primary studies conducted in Costa Rica - lecture notes Castella Conservatory (1978-1982), and proof of vaccination of children in those years I received
3. Proof of high school made in Costa Rica - yearbooks and notes.
4. Proof of kinship with two brothers born in national territory
5. Proof of status as of my parents, my mother is retired from the CCSS, my father is buried here.
6. Combrobante intelligence of the country of my parents about my criminal record (I have never committed offense)
and above that, I formalize this proof in the Costa Rican Consulate in New York.
And I want to tell you about this consulate to be able, once and for all, absolve me of this great crime that is not seeking my "legitimacy" of residence.
That office is in an alley of Wall Street where all the buildings are tall and all the offices are small opportunists who believe in whole a great investment and importance. The consulate is an office with no fresh air, old carpet, bathroom in the hall, tourist posters and true ambassadors of Costa Rica, toucans. Not as it was called the consulate at the time but I can describe as two people. A tall, thick rolls of fat on his neck and so pleased to handle your desk, and his son, a boy about 13 years of the same size and thickness to whom he said "my love" and gave him tickets, a large roll in his pocket to go buy more donuts and sweets. Vara is that after me there a couple of hours, I put a ring of about $ 80 to formalize the document of "intelligence" gringa. Here in Costa Rica
with all my papers in order and a beautiful letter of introduction to me and my loyalty to this country where I brought (did not come by choice) my parents as a child, I did all three rows of one hour and rest each to make appointments to do other rows of hour, two hours long, and did, and I came to do, and when he reached the final stop, always missing something else, that not only the passport, but all leaves (even if they were white) photocopies (second row) than when he carried in his wallet were scared to see the millions of other folders filed in that place, and a
6. Proof of my single status.
Needless to say, as single, personally hurt me having to formalize my solitude for the purpose of living, working and paying taxes in the only country I called home my entire life. But I did. I did eventually get married so smoothly, to enroll my children in schools, paying a pension to the health of all (because God has blessed me with healthy leather) and my jubliación. I, again without a lawyer, another row in the consulate of the U.S. Embassy. It drifts with a letter written by hand on a very difficult play, with the stamps and seals less falsifiable I've seen that I presented after another row in the migration. It was not enough, had to be made official by another ring and another official of the ministry of foreign affairs. And I call pa. What gave me the worst.
I'm not used to think that the bureaucrats succumb to the temptation to ask for bribes. Not crossed my mind when that other fat, Manitas de shovel, mustachioed scoundrel (and sorry that I did not ask the name) told me, without blinking, he did not have the authority to authorize the document. As I said, MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS IN COSTA RICA COULD NOT OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZE A HAND WRITING OF THE MOST IMPORTANT EMBASSY IN YOUR TERRITORY.
Then who? I asked. And then the second slap. According to the representative of the foreign ministry in Costa Rica the only one who can authorize the document U.S. consulate in Costa Rica is the very big Costa Rican consulate in New York.
No, it makes no sense. NO sense. Neither is justified. Ni I seek representation and wordiness of "lawyer" to defend pa.
is a farce. And I officially abstain contribute to their madness.
When I left that place with all their flyers and applying for national fellowships abroad, I sat on a park bench screams Spain and wept and snot regardless of being in public. When I finished I got up and went wandering to a gift shop "typical." At the sound of marimbas in place and the great nostalgia to face a future without official home again I ran the tears of frustration. Then the lady, owner of local asked me why she was crying. I replied with a broad brush I had lived and she consoled me by saying, "Look at my little, if anything is certain about this life is that if something in life makes us so very difficult for us to suffer as you are suffering, it means one thing that we should not do it. "
And I will not.